> friendsHip tieS

A Golden Chain
Helen Steiner Rice

Friendship is a Golden Chain,
The links are friends so dear,
And like a rare and precious jewel
It’s treasured more each year…

It’s clasped together firmly
With a love that’s deep and true,
And it’s rich with happy memories
and fond recollections, too…

Time can’t destroy its beauty
For, as long as memory lives,
Years can’t erase the pleasure
That the joy of friendship gives…

For friendship is a priceless gift
That can’t be bought or sold,
But to have an understanding friend
Is worth far more than gold…

And the Golden Chain of Friendship
Is a strong and blessed tie
Binding kindred hearts together
As the years go passing by.

ties

I always think that friends who laugh together stay together. Don’t you agree? There may be times when you are having some sort of cold vibes with your friend and suddenly your friend says something incredibly funny. You crack up and the laughter breaks the ice. It maybe the joke is too banal for anyone else to laugh at it, but that doesn’t matter, does it? There are always some inside jokes that you share with your friends and these have become part of the fabric of your friendship. The point is that you ‘get’ each other’s sense of humor.

great

I have some ever-green jokes that I share with my friends as well, like different lines from funny movies or jokes from stand-up comics. Or my reaction when a friend played an April Fools’ Day trick on me! And my unforgettable face when I woke up after my friends left me sleeping near the shore! Ralf, Jc and Kiko will of course be amongst those people dear to my heart. We really had good times together. Maybe we’re just too busy now and maybe some are still nursing whatever they still have to nurse.  Sometimes it seems as if it happened yesterday, while sometimes it seems as if the events happened in some other lifetime. It just feels so good isn’t it?

> onE Lazy saTurdaY

Last week seemed to take forever and just felt like one of those really heavy weeks.  I think that it started when I opened my mouth and spoke up against the “bride of Chucky”. Then, I seemed to spend the remainder of the weekend trying to avoid her negative persona.

Anyways, moving on, early part of the Saturday was spent with Z and Gay as the latter searched for our Coron Palawan accomodation. Z was in high fever before we went home. Maysilo planned a date but didn’t pursue so I just stayed home, watched TV and heard all the showbiz gossips, watched DVD, slept, ate and got even more fat. Ugh! I hate it.

I saw “House of Flying Daggers” which is easily one of my favorite movie.  Amazing cinematography a great cast.  This is a movie which I wished could last forever as you just seemed to become a part of it.  After that I saw “Constantine” – starring Keanu Reeves with some kakatuwang Pinoy.  Not really the best movie that I’ve seen… maybe 2 and a half stars.tamad

During those movies I also saw the trailer for that Zac Efron movie movie which looks quite good and also noticed that they’ve started putting up advertising for “The Da Vinci Code” sequel!  That’s one movie that I’m really looking forward to.

OK, my vow for next week this to forget all the negative stuff which is going on and to concentrate on some positive stuff which is coming up and again of course our Coron Palawan Adventure tops that.

> aBunda and beLo

Gay, Abhi, Z, Kelly, Almsie, Abi and I were having our [2am] lunch earlier when I opened what I have watched from weekend’s TV marathon. Dra. Vicki Belo was interviewed in Showbiz Central and left words which insulted Boy Abunda.

Dra. Vicky Belo took the hot seat for the “Gimme Mo” segment of Showbiz Central Sunday afternoon. And then she was asked to comment about her biggest rival’s claim [Calayan] that they have better-looking endorsers than Belo Medical Group. She said:

“Well, first of all, I feel kinda bad. Kasi, ako naman ang nag-umpisa ng mga bati-bati ng mga artista. I feel bad, kasi parang ginagaya lang nila ako. Sana naman, maghanap naman sila ng unique marketing… And I’d like to say, if you want to look like Boy Abunda, then go to Calayan. But if you like to look like Dingdong Dantes and Piolo Pascual, come to Belo.”

Boy Abunda gave himself a chance to react [about Vicki’s statement involving him] at his show in SNN: Showbiz News Ngayon. Boy’s statement went like this…

[Tearfully] “Nasindak po ako, na-surprise po ako, di po ako makapaniwala… kaibigan ko pong matalik si Dra. Vicky Belo for years. Vicky if you’re watching alam mo na kahit kailan hindi ako namuhunan sa gandang panlabas dahil alam ko wala ako masyado nun. Alam mo na namuhunan ako ng lakas ng loob, sipag at tiyaga, dasal, at Vicky wala akong ilusyong gumanda. At wala ring sinumang may karapatan na manlait sa aking pagkatao.”

Boy narrated that his mom called him late Sunday night from Samar and asked him if he did something wrong to Vicky Belo and why she insulted him on National TV. Boy assured her mom that he did not do anything against the famous cosmetic doctor.

“Vicky if you’re watching, you know I did not do anything bad to you to deserve this insult. Wala akong ginawa sa ‘yo. And Ma if you’re watching, wala po akong ginawa. Narating ko po ang maliit na espasyo ko dito sa industriya na wala po akong tinapakan.”

He ended his reactions as he says “At mga kaibigan, hindi po tayo kinakailangang kasing-ganda o kasing-gwapo ni Dingdong Dantes para maging masaya at para maging mabuting tao.”

I can’t embed Boy Abunda’s reply to this so please follow this link – http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e68/owl4ever/starmo/?action=view&current=boyvsbelo-1.flv

> bookErs : keLLy’s mgT traininG

c12You know how excited is everyone for our Palawan Escapade? Let these pictures do the talking… Nagbu-book palang ‘yan.c21While Gay books online, Nina is also busy booking for another airline. Ang mga miron nasa likod lang, taga-komento, pang-gulo.c33

> wHich is whicH?, wHen is when?

As I was preparing for work earlier, I overheard my hipag [forgot the english term] commenting about the issue being tackled over the news. It was the issue of sex education and how or when it should really be introduced to the youth and how the abortion rate has been increasing every year. She was the one who had a miscarriage the last time I went home to the province so somehow I understand.

I met H again for coffee [of course my regular readers know the real score]. Just like most of our conversations, we had a “good” time debating about the said issue. His argument is quite different from mine which I really don’t understand. I know him and how he treat and view things… which flares him everytime I bring up the topic. He would usually make an excuse saying that I should be rational. That what were talking about is the majority and what should be the norm. “Ours is different okay?” And so his usual lines of excuses…

What is obscenity? When is someone a child? When does someone reach the age of consent? At what stage during pregnancy does human life begin? Is it music or noise? Or both?

Much of the debates in public life is about drawing arbitrary lines between labels. Some people think if you allow gays to marry, that’s only one step away from allowing people to marry more than one person legally or marry their pets legally. Others think it’s the logical next step after getting rid of miscegenation laws. Some people think human life begins at conception [when the sperm and egg meet]. Others think it happens some time in the middle of the pregnancy. In many places, the age of consent is 18 years of age. So a 17-year-old in a sexually explicit film is legally the victim of child pornography but an 18-year-old in the same film is a consenting adult in a legitimate industry. He thinks that because he already said sorry, I should accept him and the fact that he’s got another one in his life.

We all know that lines can get blurry and, in fact, much of life isn’t about lines but appreciating spectra and variation. One person may reach adulthood at age 13. Another may reach it at age 23. Still another may not reach it ever. One group of people may consider a certain film art, and another group of people may consider the same film obscenity.

The real problem we face is a discomfort with blurriness, spectra, and variation when it comes to law. We already have many “it depends” situations in law, and we don’t want to have an “it depends” that can’t be spelled out in advance, for some reason. If one 12-year-old is old enough to drive, how can you make the case that another 12-year-old is not old enough to drive? Why does your opinion about each kid’s maturity and skill matter in deciding? Instead, the state decides arbitrarily that 15 or 16 or 18 is the cut-off point where someone under that age doesn’t have the physical and mental maturity to handle a motor vehicle, and someone above that age supposedly does.

It is not an excuse to say that “he has been so good to me although I don’t love him anymore, I can’t just easily leave him and be with you”. The mere fact that you don’t love him and – “It’s you I love now” is enough to end what’s between you and him. It’s gonna be painful but that’s the way how life goes.alchris_debate2I don’t have an easy answer. I do think my 7-year-old cousin, no matter how “mature,” is too young to have sex. And I do think that almost all 50-year-olds, no matter how “immature”, are likely to know what they’re getting into if they engage in sex. I know if we draw a line in between that it’ll be arbitrary and if we don’t draw a line, we’ll basically be condoning pedophilia. Same deal with abortion. If I kill an egg and sperm that have just started dividing into two cells and four cells, I don’t really think I’ve murdered a human being [yes, some fringe conservatives on the extreme right might disagree with me, and I would concede in a British accent that “every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good”]. But I also don’t think there’s a definite line you can draw in the middle of a pregnancy that is when human life “begins.” There isn’t a moment. Nor was there a moment when I changed from child to adult. I know when I was 6, I was a child. I know now after 20 I’m an adult. But it’s not as if there was one day or even one year that I can say was the threshold I crossed that changed me from child to adult.

As I said before, there are no easy answers. Nevertheless, people should also stop looking for them. There often is no line in life, even if we must draw a line in the law.

There is no easy relationship. There is no easy discussion if both won’t be open to understand each others views. So how did the “coffee date” turn up? We separated just trying to not to yell at each other. Pathetic.

Just don’t say words you can’t “mean”.

> taMaritiS

Katamaran. Laziness.

Every now and then I’ll have a day when I’m completely apathetic about everything. The idea of being productive makes my brain hurt. These little funks can be extremely frustrating, especially when I have tons to do. I can still remember how my Match teacher – Nimfa Yyance would scold me if I don’t assignment or has been absent for days, “sinumpong ka na naman ng tamaris mo!” Last Monday I was up at work trying to get stuffs done, when a sudden wave of  sosyal na tamaritis“don’t-want-to-do-anything-itis” hit hard. This state of mind came at a really inconvenient time, seeing that I had a lot of works to be finished as well as some encoding to do. Consequently, I became frustrated and even more apathetic about wanting to do anything.

Have you ever had one of these days? Thank God I can now take control of these things. You want to know how? Here are 4 things you can do that will help get you back on track when you don’t want to do anything.anawangin

Picture was taken during our department’s Anawangin Escapade. I fell asleep while we were talking and so they took this. I’d like to go back there. Kelan ba ulit Joanne? Trust me, it’s paradise.

  • Take a walk outside. By taking a walk outside, you can clear your head of all the frustration and angst you might be feeling. It gives you time to think and to work off some of that apathy that has consumed your soul. I also think being outside in the fresh air and sun resyncs’s your body and mind to a more natural state. Being cooped up in a building with florescent lighting probably isn’t conducive to apathy free living. Since I work night shift, you’ll find me visiting my friend’s place near the workplace just to wear out the katamaran.
     
    Journal. Writing about why you’re not in the mood to do anything is a great way to work through apathy. Just bust out a notebook and start writing about how you don’t want to do anything and why you feel that way. Don’t think about it too hard. Just free write. After about 10 minutes, you’ll see the source of your “don’t-want-to-do-anything-itis” and you’ll feel much better. Maybe those teenage emo kids are on to something…
  • Review your goals. When apathy strikes, take some time review your goals. This will help motivate you to get started again. Best example of course is this blog.
  • Do less demanding tasks. Instead of trying to use brute force to get an important task done when you’re not in the mood to work, try easing yourself into work mode by doing less demanding tasks first. For example, you could organize your desk, schedule your week, or respond to emails. By doing less demanding tasks first, you benefit in two ways: 1) it will help ease you into the working state of mind and 2) you’ll at least get some stuff done.

So there, I hope I made sense.

> whiLe you’Re afaR

Nothing pains the heart more than being separated from your honey. Maybe a job or a family crisis has forced you apart. Perhaps it’s just a temporary departure from each other; for some, the situation is permanent and must be adapted to. Whatever the circumstance, maintaining a long-distance relationship can be very difficult and taxing for couples. But while this scenario can be challenging and put a relationship to the test, it can be done and there are scores of people that are in this predicament and make it work successfully.

Most express difficulty coping with loneliness and boredom, and some report developing insecurities and fears about their partner’s seeking solace with other men; others worry of the potential for their relationship to crumble because of the distance itself posing a barrier to solidifying emotional intimacy, usually afforded more easily by face-to-face contact and daily living experience.far

Let’s face it—nothing compares to having your partner by your side. But the fact remains, we need to continue living, we need to be practical and rational. I have suggested these to some friends.

  • Identify your triggers to loneliness and take advantage of this time to pursue purposeful activities that will help you grow as a person.
  • Keep your talks with your partner on the positive and upbeat slant. Don’t use your precious time together lamenting about the pain and injustice of being apart. This could define all your contacts with a negative aura and make the potential for emotional distancing from each other that much more possible. Give each other lots of positive affirmations and share what you appreciate. Keep the romance alive and realize that you have control over the climate of your relationship.
  • Live your life the way you used to. Hang out with friends, party, enjoy and be happy. Build your support system with positive people who will validate what you’re going through rather than feed you doom-and-gloom. There’s no point succumbing to your loneliness. Just know where to draw the line.

Living apart from your significant other can be quite a downer, but the important thing to remember is to avoid placing too much emphasis on the separation and instead channel that energy toward rejuvenating and feeding your relationship to the best extent you can, limitations and all! Nothing sucks the joy out of a relationship faster than having a negative mindset and swimming in pain and grief.

Long-distance relationships can work as well as any relationship, they just require extra doses of attention and understanding. So hang in there, take control of your life and make the most of a difficult situation, and before you know it you’ll be in your baby’s arms again.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”