Just recently I have witnessed my couple-friends gone separate ways. Ending a relationship is one of the toughest things we have to face in life. It is easy to want to wallow in grief but that is definitely not the step you want to take in order to “get over it”. Dwelling on the issue, rehashing the event or beating yourself up over the breakup will only make matters worse. The one thing needed is acceptance, in both your heart and mind. It’s only at this point; that you can begin the process of getting over a relationship.
We all know breaking up is never easy to do, no matter how long or short a time you were together. While some people seem to get over a break up before they cross the street, other people need a little bit more time to get over a relationship.
Unfortunately, some relationships die. You probably wouldn’t have been able to experience the wonderful feelings you had with the partner you are breaking up with if you hadn’t broken up with someone before. The same can be said for your future partner. You won’t be able to experience the wonderful times and emotions with them if you don’t get over your broken relationship. Grieving a dead relationship is a healthy thing to do. Crying washes away some of the sadness and helps us heal. Once the grieving is over, the relationship needs to be buried.
Kiko asked me to write my basic survival guide for getting over a relationship since it only took me a very short time to get over my last ex. I am by no means an expert on this subject but proper attitude, motivation and focus helped me get through.
Understand why the relationship didn’t work.
This will give you insight into why the relationship didn’t work. For example, you wanted different things in life, you had different ideologies or you needed more attention or affection then your partner was willing to give you. To complete this step you need to be honest with yourself.
Talk to your friends.
Your friends will be glad to help. Use them as sounding boards, pour out your heart, and cry on their shoulders. You will feel so much better getting things off your chest, and the support that you’ll receive from your friends will give you a boost of self-confidence like nothing else.
Stop interacting with your Ex
This will give your heart and brain the time they need to distance themselves from your perceived need to be with your ex. During this step you will want to get rid of, or at least hide, items like photographs of your ex and gifts that they gave you. Again this is to help you distance yourself from them and their memory and to give your mind the chance to focus on what you want next.
Take care of YOU.
Have a massage, treat yourself to something decadent. I spent 3 days watching DVDs and making reviews, took a short vacation, took pictures and bought lavender candles for calming my senses
Forgive your Ex
One of the most liberating experiences you can have is to forgive your ex for their faults in your past relationship. This will not only help you to move on, but it will also release their hold on your perception of new partners. Nothing is less attractive than a person who is bitter and who projects the faults of their past partners on every new prospect that they meet.
In short, take time to feel the sadness and loss. Sift through the relationship and find the good and the bad in it. Place it in the past.
my so-called LIFE 