> hurtIng… totaLLy hurtinG.


Friends, these are all I need from you. No unsolicited advise please. Yes, I’m devastated. I caught him cheating. Pain. Agony. Hatred. Love. Tears. Denial. I can’t explain what I’m going through. Just bear with me, I’ll get over.

1. I want to vent, get it out without censor. I will say what I shouldn’t be saying. It may not be nice, pretty or mild. Please know that I know better, but I need to get it off my chest.

2. Every so often I want to hear something like, “This too shall pass.” Remind me that this is not forever.

3. Spare me from you “epal” attitude please. If you’re perfect then just be one. I don’t care. If you lack attention, don’t gain them through me. If you’re a model employee, then you are. I think we know you. Avoid the “sawsaw” attitude. You’ll have your time, trust me.

4. I want to be validated. I want to know that I am OK. You can best do that by nodding acceptance when I talk about the pain or confusion.

5. I want to hear sometimes, “What are you learning? What are you doing to take care of yourself?” I may need that little jolt that moves me beyond my pain to see the larger picture.

6. I’m a little bit sensitive now. Simple jokes may mean hell and all spears thrown. You know what to do.

7. I may want space. I may want you to be quiet and patient as I attempt to sort through and express my thoughts and feelings. Give me some time to stammer, stutter and stumble my way through this.

8. I want someone to point out some new options or different roads that I might take. But before you do this, make sure I am first heard and validated.

9. When they pop into your mind, recommend books or other resources that you think I might find helpful.

10. I want to hear every so often, “How’s it going?” And, I may want this to be more than an informal greeting. Give me time and space to let you know exactly how it IS going.

11. I want you to understand and welcome the ambivalent feelings and desires. I would like you to be fairly comfortable with the gray areas and the contradictions about how I feel and what I may want.

12. I want you to be predictable. I want to be able to count on you to be there, listen and speak consistently or let me know when you are unable to do that. I will honor that.

13. If you know our story, don’t tell me “wala ka kse time sa kaniya eh” I know that already and can’t do anything about it.

14. Avoid asking questions on how it “all” went. Wait and you’ll read it here.



  1. alam ko ayaw mo ng comment or any reactions …
    sorry feel ko mag salita eh hehehe

    basta remember this —
    The strength of any relationship is based on how you treat each other
    and how you face every trial. You either fail or stick together thru thick
    and thin.

    sabihin mo rin sa kanya yan!!!

  2. thank you = )

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