> resTrooM musiNg

I commented on a photo done by Ash Castro [a very good photographer and artist I really admire] and as I wait for his response, I felt the need to go to the restroom. For the most part, trips to the bathroom are uneventful. That is, people go in and take care of their personal business and leave, hopefully washing their hands on the way out. Today was a bang up day for restroom weirdness at the office. I observed two uncommon behaviors while taking care of my own business.

I know I should have fully minded my own business but I think this will also help us gain another thought on our day to day lives. Tell me if you feel it offensive though.

As a general rule, there are certain rules of etiquette when you’re standing at a urinal. One of those rules is that you aren’t supposed to pay attention to the gentlemen standing at the other urinals. Under no circumstances are you to speak to them. Acceptable behaviors would include reading [if there’s a newspaper tacked to the wall], spelling your name as if the bowl were full of snow, gazing down at the distorted reflection of your face in the urinal valve, or possibly even whistling. I’ve seen some pretty disturbing feats performed in the restroom before, but today’s incident takes the cake.

Peripheral vision is one of those things that comes naturally to many. Though partially obscured by the urinal dividers, my eyes were privy to a display that I had never seen at set of office urinals before. Without turning to look I probably would have dismissed what I had seen out the corner of my left eye, except I heard something that confirmed what I thought I had seen. I heard a rhythmic sound emanating from the next urinal stall over. It was continuous in nature and almost vicious at times, and it continued for the duration of my standing there.

The man — standing at the urinal — was brushing his teeth with his right hand, no doubt while holding onto his member with the other.

Now I’ve seen people come into the restroom and brush their teeth after lunch. I don’t do it despite what my dentist no doubt recommended at some point, but I see no problem with it. I do have difficulty believing that there are people in the world who lack sufficient time or inclination to dedicate separate periods of time to each activity, especially at the office.

Now, go back to work Al. You still have many things to accomplish.


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