> Love’s paraDoX

Are you the type who still fall stupid for love? who believes in the word? I still do. I know. I might appear to be too tough outside but I’m just being defensive I know.

I remember one of my most favorite movies- How to Lose a Guy In Ten Days. The movie, having Kate Hudson as the protagonist, tells of a story of a young woman, who writes for a magazine, in which her column concentrates on “How To’s”. The story revolved around the things that a woman must not do if she wants to keep her relationship healthy- like never be too emotional, don’t leave stuffs inside your boyfriend’s place, never mess with the “guy’s night out”, don’t ever make your boyfriend’s place look like its your own, don’t give him plants or pets and act as if its your babies, and other really funny stuffs.

Humorous or not, this movie, somehow showed me that the way I loveD [big D] is totally not right. I can tell, if I have a checklist of how many rules I have broken, really, I must have had an almost perfect score. I watched Hudson’s film way back , and since then, I try to act as if everything is cool [I’m using this due to the lack of the right word to use].

Honestly, I am trying to evaluate as of now, if that decision came out to be very useful or not. Since for a number of years now, I can tell that I can manipulate my emotions very well. Well, its not as easy as how I put it actually. Like, for instance, if I realize that I guy whom I am dating and eventually fell for, was not really serious or just fooling around; I can make myself forget relatively soon and move on. If I feel like my boyfriend’s gonna dump me soon, I’ll dump him instantly, I still cry, but I move on relatively fast. I don’t know if I’m putting this right, or I am able to communicate the essence of my experiences the way they I wanted them to be told; but somehow, I learned to not trust on the idea of love anymore. Perhaps, my highly materialist and logical nature allowed me to understand it in a biological and evolutionary perspective. With this I admit that I am being unfair to those who are falling in love. Especially if they belong to my world. I’d like to say sorry to Ron [my dear friend] because until now, I don’t like him being involved with his recent guy. I just don’t feel right. Sorry po ulit.

I just realized though that due to the lack of confidence on the utopian idea of love; my biology somehow learned to naturally adopt to pain that is usually brought forth by every relationship. Every time that I got hurt, or offended by the person that I love, the natural response of my psyche is to shut it all inside. Perhaps, another part of my personality that I’ve learned to develop is strength and competitiveness. I always try to be strong on every situation, for every problem. This attitude is not really done for the sake of novelty as if projecting that I am a superman or something; but that is just how I should be due to the nature of my role as a person in my complex human state of affairs.

Going back to pain and my natural biological response to not talk about it, the pain even how little or huge it may be, becomes a factor for my psyche to erase all hopes of a lasting relationship, and then eventually not loving the person that I used to love anymore. The effect is somehow irreversible, as maybe for some people, if they got hurt, and the other person promised to change or something like that, the feelings will return again, or for that matter, the confidence.

I guess, this has now became my standard, my natural response, an effect of my conscious effort to initially protect my self against pain; eventually has become one of my most dreaded fears. To protect the one that I love from pain, inconveniences of arguments [does make me so negative about Ron’s affairs, my sister’s or almost anyone near me], and the likes; eventually brings me to a state of negativity- the lack of love and the absence of hope. The price that I have to pay and the sacrifice that I have to carry everyday of my life.  Someone might tell me to just use my will power to change the course of events.  I wanted to tell that I can and I wanted to; but the thing is I am not yet ready to put down my armor; I’m not yet prepared to die [again].



> tsinA! tsiNa!

> boTeTe : jusT 4 Laughs

Our new Yaya who just came from the province is a multimedia person. Wondering why I call her that? Well, for the simple reason that she loves listening to radio, play games on the laptop, watch TV etc… So it’s always one thing or the other.

I’m not the type who can always tolerate “pag-iingay” if I’m sleeping but since she’s the one who’s taking care of my pamangkin, we’re all “takot” for she might take it against my nephew.

She’s always tuned in to this weird radio station which normally plays “tagalog or local” versions of english songs. One thing that really caught my attention was this… I know I’ll be catching more of her stuffs but I’m sharing this for now.

Just for laughs… harharhar*

> i stoLe P89

I had just gotten off from bed and s%$t!, it’s already 7pm. My shift starts at 9pm so I hurried. Not that I live too far, just that I’m not feeling good yet so I’ll be moving a little bit slower.

Still sick weary and troubled, I ride the bus, trying hard to relax. I can’t. I have a severe headache. I kept on saying “I should have taken a cab, baka mahimatay pa ako dito”. That has always been my fear. I also have a couple of very small office issues that need sorting. Haaay… I shouldn’t be experiencing these. If SHE only understands her own words – conctructive criticisms and the sencerity of being sorry. Uh well, that’s where true intelligence is needed.

the Konduktor comes:

“sanpo sila?”

“Megamall galing Boni.”

I hand him a hundred. the fare is P11.

“mamaya napo sukli.”

I nodded and closed my eyes. Less than a minute passes and the Konduktor hands me my change. I accept it without saying a word while trying to concoct a possible attack angle to my problems in the office.

He leaves. we arrive in Megamall. I stand and as I disembark from the bus, I ask the Konduktor for my change. We stare at each other. I get pissed and ask him again:

“yung sukli sa 100, Megamall galing Boni.”

more staring. He relents and gives me my change. I walk towards the mall. In each of the front pockets of my jeans is an 89 peso set.

And then I realized, God. I just stole P89 from someone.

I feel bad. I could try looking for the guy but then needles lost in haystacks are a lost cause. Lesson learned: be wary of your change while riding the bus; It goes both ways – I could’ve lost P89. it’s a very common occurrence while riding busses when you give a large bill for the fare:

“mamaya napo sukli.”

Danger danger. You could forget that you have change and just go down when you reach your destination and make the Konduktor richer. or, the Konduktor could forget that he already gave you change and give you change again; I am a living breathing example of this.

My fear of course, is that somewhere out there is a very angry man who thinks he got scammed by a passenger. And this man remembers my face and he has practiced a revenge scenario in his head should we meet again. Its ok. I remember his face too. All I need to do is look at the Konduktor’s of the busses I ride; at least for the next few weeks or so.

> PDA : LieZel garCia

I am a fan of almost everything ABSCBN would come up to. Being a true KAPAMILYA, I have always supported their programs. But due to my work schedule, I missed quite a few.  Can you imagine I missed this?

Salamat sa makabagong teknolohiya! See? galing niya no? So for PDA, Liezel tayo!

> goLdiLocks cakE

I can remember Goldilocks from the snack cakes that used to fill my lunchbox in gradeschool if my Father would come from one of his Manila trips. It was quite a childish act for all of us to brag about our Goldilocks. From the polvoron to the lollipops they used to have, to the simple cakes.

At that time, it was the only bakeshop I knew and loved… until others sprung up.

Because of the “others” and my evolving taste and standards for great cakes, I must admit I have not tried to Goldilocks in a long time. In fact, when faced with a variety of choices, I would most likely not choose their cakes. I always think that Goldilocks would all be about icings ang just sweet “nothing”.

So it was indeed a treat to have the chance to try out their cakes again. Cj thought of having theirs when we planned to give one for Joanne’s birthday. I was dumbfounded because thay have different flavors now. We decided to buy two. And here’s what we used for the wish cake…

Doesn’t it look just utterly good? I was giddy with anticipation of tasting it.

I took a very big slice for myself after dinner.

The base cake was chocolate. But you will only be able to discern that after going through heaps of icing and what appears to be strawberry flavored layer. The chocolate cake was ok. But the combination was… shall I say – childish. The taste reminded me of those locally made and sold chocolate marshmallows that are sold in your neighborhood store. Oh no not the marshmallows that I just recently wrote about. But those tiny ones that used to be sold at 25cents each. They were colored pink marshmallows that were covered in cheap chocolate. The taste was… pink. Going back.. The whole cake tasted candy-ish. My kids love it and I wasn’t surprised. Maybe it was made especially for them. Good thing we also bought a Brazo Mercedes. This time it didn’t fail us.

Happy Birthday my dear friend. Happy Birthday Joanne!!!


> transFormerS @ megAmaLL

Last Saturday, as we’re [i,cj & mia] on our way to get Joanne her birthday cake, we passed by the Transformers Exhibit along SM Megamall. Being the Transformers lover even then, we didn’t let ourselves miss the photo op.

As the world eagerly awaits for the biggest and much talked about movie debut of Transformers on June 28, millions of Transformers fanatics from practically all walks of life had been fortunate to have their favorite league of transfiguring robots loaded with exciting and explosive line-up of events, fun-filled activities, trailblazing merchandises and other great surprises to celebrate the comeback and the undying legacy that is Transformers last June 21st.

We didn’t even know what was needed to have our pictures be taken but we just braved the crowd and posed for the cameras. Talking about being “makapal” har har har.

In the recently concluded MTV Movie Awards, the world’s largest television network had given Transformers a stump of approval after being chosen as the Best Summer Movie You Haven’t Seen for 2007, placing Pirates of the Caribbean and Bourne Automatic behind the pack. The Transformers live action movie brings the battle of the two warring robots of Cybertron, the Autobots and the Decepticons to Earth leaving the future of humankind hanging in balance.

Transformers originally featured the heroic Autobots headed by Optimus Prime and their main opponents, the Decepticons with Megatron as the leader. Transformers are best known as an intelligent machines that are able to transform and reconfigure itself into innocuous form such as car, aircraft or animal. There have been a number of popular spin-offs based on the original Hasbro toy line including the widely read Transformers Marvel Comics series and animated TV programs that began airing in 1984.

Consequently, the equally awaited market release of Transformers licensed products will be officially launched on June 29th at Event Center of SM Megamall Bldg. A. The whole day event aptly dubbed as The Transformers : Transform and Roll Out! the Movie Merchandise Launch will feature an art exhibit, drawing & trivia contest, video game demo, panel discussion for hobbyist and Transformers collectors, stage performances, movie promotion and a whole lot more! The Transformers thrilling live action movie is directed by Michael Bay with Steven Spielberg as executive producer.

I can’t wait to see it!