> mocK mE!

I met Mami Cez yesterday at Winsource because I needed to make-asikaso na my clearance. It’s already 7 months and I have not started anything yet. Not even filing one. We talked and laughed so much while having breakfast at Chef Angelo that we didn’t realize how time flew. One of the topics was the call center dillema of handling shitty/bitchy customers and how we deal with it.

I have this way of dealing with stupid customers. When customers call in and start acting really stupid, or being rude, I usually press the mute button on my headset and proceed to mock the customer to no end. Not just, “you’re stupid”, no, I go on and on, ad infinitum. You know how some people create with paint and canvas, or clay and a potter’s wheel. Well, I am an artisan of mocking. Everything from your lack of distinct genitalia, to your sexual inadequacies, to the fact that your family tree never branches out and ends with a detailed description of your mother’s shortcomings. I know there are mali practices but I can’t help it. Good thing I don’t need to deal with them anymore.

When people call in, many of them labor under the misapprehension that we are glad to hear from them and are looking forward to helping them no matter how they may act to us. Most of the time we feel exactly the opposite. We’re not happy to be here, the boss is yelling at us and our desk is awash in stupid memos. So we are marking time until we can punch that clock and leave Purgatory.

Now of course if a customer calls in and approaches us the right way, many of us will go out of our way to help them, and we don’t all hate people. I do like that I get an opportunity to really help people from time to time. But the idea that call center employees are some large group of concierge-like people who are just waiting for the phone to ring so they can kiss your boots, well, you’re just very mistaken…

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