> neW parTy posTers


> sir PAULY and this BLOG

I just have to get this off my chest– I confess I feel somehow bit orphaned now that my friend/favorite trainer – PAULY left. He has been so good to me, maybe 1st among the people I should thank for the position I have now, one person I cheered with when La Salle won over UE, one person who treated Academix as if his own and us his babies. At the same time, there’s this deep-seated anguish over prejudice practices and work politics that’s constantly throbbing and screaming as if seeking escape. Well, this mild jolt at work, in fact, summons my character. So I whisper, “I am a brave soul and independent and sharp.” then I’m heeding to my conscience’s advice to wait for the dust to settle then I can study my options.

I realized WORK and FOES have been making headline news on this blog since the dramatic developments in the workplace. While this blog exposes some segments of the whole context of life at a callcenter and my personal battles, I don’t want it to spoil this blog’s whole theme of work-life balance.

I promise to make up for it on subsequent entries.

> wriTing courAge

When I was in school I never got a lousy grade in English class but I could not boast that my creative writing assignments kicked butt. Even so, I pride myself on being able to think better with PE and logic [*hahaha]. And because my thinking is sporty and logical, I assumed I could pull off modestly intelligent pieces of writing in which ideas flow seamlessly but I never tried my hand.

Perhaps, I needed encouragement.

Now that I’m in a stressful world of callcenter, my association with him awoke inside me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive and to pursue the flow of my imagination in writing. And so I took a crack at free writing on this blog. Since my ex-writer-beau is an excellent, sharp-eyed editor, I suppose he reads my entries not merely for content but also for mechanics. Too bad he’s to away from me now or should I say making himself too away now? Sadly, I’m becoming increasingly frustrated at not being able to craft a finished piece of writing without a glitch.

When I’m in the heat of writing, I am likely to make confusing shifts of person or verb tense as well as errors of sentence fragments and comma splices, etc.

Hopefully, my errors of grammar, punctuation and transition are not too obvious to distract my readers.

I’m just really glad this has been my emotional highway and loneliness’ FedEx. And one more, this blog has been my tranquility place. A place where cons and pros meet. As you can read from some comments made by my friends and somehow-enemies, I just feel so nice knowing that even those people who hate me read this. So it’s more of ENEMY = FAN now. Galing no? Ayaw nila sa’kin and yet may I basa sila blog koKatuwa lang. Peace people!

Then again, I’m upset and uninspired.

> i neeD to Lie LoW

Some people say I’m stubborn, I’d call it willful. Some think I’m dominant, I’d say it’s assertive. My LORD says I’m brimming with pride, err.. I’d say uh, YES [actually, self-esteem is more like it, but anyway…]

Okay, I admit I find myself solidly in the “high dominance” camp. Good thing, my LORD is even more dominant to diffuse my intensity. Well, had he not been able to overpower my alpha tendencies, I would have found him unexciting.

Then again, I wish I had about a zillion sides to my personality that’s ever changing depending on the situation. Tt work, I wish I were one sovereign force to be reckoned with. With my best friends and family, I wish I were an ultimate cry-on-my-shoulder rock. And with my LORD, I wish I were a bit docile. A docile dominatrix.

Ahh… some people. Who cares?

> meDia pLayeR

At any given week, there are these songs which just seem to find their way to my media player and end up getting played over and over again, until I eventually get tired of them and consciously refrain from listening to them for some time.

They’re not necessarily new. Some go way, way back while others are more contemporary, in some ways.

UMBRELLA [Mandy Moore version]
I just love it. The first time I heard the version was through KC Concepcion’s TV stint – “KC From Paris to Pinas”. Ther’s something the way she sings it. I feel someting hitting my spines. Who doesn’t?

While blog-hopping recently, I came upon this one where a media player was embedded in the blog page itself and which, went on to play some songs, I assume, that blog’s owner fancies. The first on the list there was this song. I already had a copy of this song in my PC. But somehow, it got lost among the thousands I have stored in the machine. And it was only through this recent encounter that the song got itself reintroduced to my eardrums. Anyway, it would be several days of this song constantly playing inside my head before I eventually decided to go look for it and play through my PC.

This one I heard while I came to a friend’s room one time. I also had listened to this song before, and also had a copy of it stored away. But to hear it from my officemate’s PC was somehow quite refreshing. Dishwalla’s other songs had been played so much in my PC that it came to a point when I suddenly stopped listening to them completely. After hearing this song though, it all came crawling back in a weird but nice kind of way.

MASAYA [Bamboo]
The band’s album itself has been on my most-played playlists recently. But hearing this particular song in the radio and watching its music video at the TV just made this one more appealing, I guess. [I wish they used a different name for the band though; somehow it feel’s like short of calling it Bamboo’s Band]

CALL AND ANSWER [Barenaked Ladies]
This one’s from the movie, EDTV [Matthew McConoughey/Jenna Elfman]. But I didn’t know this until recently, when I got to watch the music video for the first time. Anyway, I was not much of a fan of the band before. But this song changed my mind. Either that, or it’s simply this song alone.

KIND AND GENEROUS [Natalie Merchant]
“Na-na-na, na-na-na-na…” And so the song goes. The other day, before I switched off the television, a small-budget movie [made for television] was just starting at HBO. This song was its background music. I like Natalie Merchant — even since her days with 10,000 Maniacs. Her voice is just so… different [for lack of something profound to say]. I even bought her album [cassette tape only] just because I was looking for this particular song. Anyway, it’s nice to listen to.

I just have one person in mind everytime I hear this. I’m confused but I’m posting this anyway.

> LayouTs

I‘ve been tasked to do some of the layouts for our Christmas Party. I just hope everything will be fine.

This one is actually the supposed new graphic header of this blog. For some reason, I’m still having trouble uploading. I don’t know why. Not a part of the party layouts of course .

This would be the ticket for the party, for the food, drinks and entrance. Serves as the raffle stub too.

This would be the image that will be part of the stage design.

This is only the draft for the redcarpet background ala Awards Night.

This is one of the teasers for the party posted along the corridors of the office.

> posiTive viBes

I‘m wearing my thinking cap again. And my inner demons have taken a break from all the naggings and pressuring they’ve been putting me through these couple of days — weeks, come to think of it

Today’s a Saturday. That makes tomorrow Sunday, church day! — what else?

So I’ve decided to make quick turnabout insofar as my personal sentiments are concerned, whether self-induced or caused by some external, foreign influence. I’ve decided to devote the main column of this blog ONLY to positive, “happy” entries. The other, less enthusiastic ones I will put on the sideblog. Meaning, they’ll both be brief and even more vague than they already are. My apologies to those who attempt to make sense out of them. If any.

I just received a comment from one of my entries. The person might be hiding his [assuming na HE siya] identity but I’m just thankful he’s been reading this blog. I understand him. I mean from his standpoint and from all he heard, what do you think would be his side? Maybe he has not been victimized yet or maybe he just doesn’t know. I don’t know. But just like what I’ve said, I’m okay now. Whatever happened before were all rested on HIS judgment. I don’t feel that bad about that person anymore anyway. Afterall, that person has been my friend. I’m just exploring my freedom to write.

Anyone who comes across this blog, I want him or her to feel only positive vibes. No. It’s not censorship. It’s not being un-true to one’s self. As I’ve explained, nothing’s being hidden or removed. Only relocated. Far more than an attempt to appease any blog-hopper or reader, it’s more of a therapeutic exercise for me. Maybe by trying to highlight more the better aspects of life, I too would follow suit and adopt the same philosophy which this blog shall now incorporate in its electronic “paginas”. Hopefully.

With that, I shall now look for those elusive “feel-good” thoughts.
Good luck to me!