> the secreT

You ever have one of those mornings where you just feel like… like you’re not okay, but you can’t put your finger on why you’re not okay. It’s not that you’re sad or angry or irritated… you’re just not happy.

Who knows? Maybe it’s a bit of boredom, too…and maybe a touch of fear that maybe things will always stay the same and nothing will ever move forward.

See, the thing is, even though listening to those people on Oprah talk about “The Secret” was kind of inspiring, it just feels so bloody hard to lift yourself out of a blah mood and to stop yourself from thinking, “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be here.”

I always think about that Gwyneth Paltrow movie, “Sylvia”, and that one scene where she’s talking to a friend and you can tell she’s in this really bad place in her mind. It’s just the way she talks, you know? That dull acceptance of how weary her life is… it’s so different from just being depressed, because it’s like this whole other layer of defeat.

I guess I’m not really making all that much sense right now.

It’s Ate Erlynns baby shower and birthday party and baste batch mates are coming… so I’d rather try perking up…

My pinsans : Olee, Ron, On and Pet are online now and we’re on a conference… I guess that’s one thing I should be happy about right?

I just have to keep telling myself that it’s just one bad day… just one bad day to get through…



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